Callie’s Here

Have you seen the movie, “A Dog’s Purpose”? Just in case you haven’t, I won’t tell you how it ends. I can tell you I used a bunch of tissues. 😢

And I will tell you that at the end of the movie, when the dog starts barking at his owner, Shadow went from laying on her side to sitting up and watching intently. 🐶

When Callie and Shadow were youngsters, Callie would always sit in front of the TV – watching intently – if there were dogs or other animals on any program we were watching. And sometimes if the dogs on the TV were acting out, Callie would bark at them as if she were trying to tell them to relax. Meanwhile, Shadow would just chill out, wondering what all the fuss was about. As I went to pick up the phone to take a picture, Shadow turned away from the TV. Just as she always did when she was young. For a minute or two it had been as though Callie was sitting there. Hubby and I looked at each other and then at Shadow. She had the same “What?!” look on her face. But I still feel Callie’s presence in the house.

A Heartbreaking Anniversary 


Today – this morning actually – is the first anniversary of our precious Callie getting her angel wings.

I’m handling it better than I expected to. Yes, it hurts like hell. Yes, I miss my girl more every day. 

But – a BIG but – she’s not suffering any more. She’s a healthy, happy soul again free of her earthly form. I’m happy for my girl. 

I’m happy to have been her mom. Happy for all the wonderful memories she gave us. Happy that she helped me raise her and her younger sisters. 

Life has not been the same, will never be the same, without our beautiful girl. But we’ve adapted, adjusted, and done our best to move forward. 

I watch Shadow during the day. She prefers to sleep in Callie’s old favorite spots – in front of the bathtub, on the one dog bed of Callie’s that wasn’t ruined during her illness, on the kitchen floor next to my chair, and right outside the bathroom door while I’m taking a shower. And she loves to play fetch and keep-away, just as Callie did. Odd that she won’t play with Callie’s stuffed toys though. I know Callie wouldn’t mind – she was always good about sharing all the toys. 

And Ducky? In her own way I’m sure she misses Callie; but she’s been playing more with Shadow. And giving Shadow good-morning kisses when I first let her out of her crate. And she’s not snarking at Shadow as much any more. I think she has figured out that Shadow is truly her best doggie friend as well as her big sister. I’m pretty sure Callie is smiling down at them both. 

I still need to dab at my leaky eyes with a tissue at times. The realization that I can’t stroke her fur or kiss her good night, watch her snuggle with Shadow, or watch her teach Ducky to mind her manners still feels like a dagger in my heart. Yet the memories of such moments make me smile, with or without tears.

Hubby said last night that “she left us too soon”. I said that “even if she had lived to be 15 and a half, like Kissy, it would have been too soon.” But she hasn’t really left us. Her earthly form is gone, but her spirit is always here with us. She watches over us. And occasionally she lets me catch a glimpse of her spirit. Somehow she lets Shadow know, too, that she is still here. I sense it at times.