Golden Angel Girls

This has always been one of my favorite photos of Callie and Shadow. (Callie in foreground.) The memories make me smile now for the most part. The girls will always be with me in spirit.

They really were that closely bonded from Shadow’s first day with us. Callie was only six months older, but she always watched out for Shadow.

Powered by Linky Tools

Click hereΒ to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…

He Changed Everything

“Every now and then a dog will come into your life and change everything.”

Radar was that dog for us.

Now before you say something like “what about Kissy, Callie, Shadow, and Ducky?” let me tell you that we still love each of our furry angels and our little earth angel and always will. Each of them holds her own special place in our hearts. Each was and is a source of joy and unconditional love, and always will be. They all came into our lives as puppies and we watched them grow into wonderful adult dogs.

Radar came to us as an already full grown adult dog so we didn’t get to enjoy his puppyhood. But when we first met him, it felt as though he had known us all his life. He was doing the Snoopy happy dance from the moment he saw hubby get out of the car. He gave me his paw and let Ducky “check him out.”I knew from the very first moment that Radar was meant to be with us for the rest of his life.

Radar’s previous life will never be known to any of us. He was found wandering the neighborhood of a friend of his first foster mom. It’s anyone’s guess how long the poor boy had been on his own. YET, he was happy, joyful, gentle, sweet, and full of love for every one who took him in, cared for him, and showed him any amount of kindness. No amount of shyness to this boy’s demeanor. He was an equal opportunity lover of humans and other dogs.

So what did he change?

Well, for one thing, he was the first male dog I’ve ever had. I grew up with female poodles; my own first dog (Kissy) was female; and all three dogs hubby and I have had before Radar (Callie, Shadow, and Ducky) were/are females.

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against male dogs. My brother’s dog, Boozy, is a male and our granddog, Max, is a male. I love them both. I just stuck with what I knew from my life so far. Females. When we took Radar in as our foster-to-adopt, I had no idea how Ducky would act with him once he came to live with us. But Radar needed us, and we all needed him.

There was something special about our boy. Whatever his previous life was like, it didn’t rob him of his joy of life, his love of humans and other dogs, or his innate sweetness. He was pure joy. Even his heartworm disease couldn’t completely take that from him. He tried his best to wag his tail when he saw us in the ER clinic exam room that awful, heart-shattering day.

And me rescue an adult Golden Retriever instead of getting a puppy? A few years ago I’d have said “no way!” Radar – along with my lack of enthusiasm for house training another dog – changed that too. I wanted another Golden but I wanted one closer to Ducky’s age. Radar was such a special boy that I can’t see myself getting another dog who doesn’t need a second chance at life. While at this point in our life we can’t emotionally deal with taking in another unhealthy dog, we do want another Golden who can keep up with Ducky and become her best friend, companion, and loving sibling.

And ten months ago – when Shadow first reunited with Callie – I didn’t think I could even foster another Golden before a year had passed. I was even hesitant to put in our adoption application at first. But when we met Radar, I knew he was meant to be with us for the rest of his life. During those two months plus that he was with us, he helped me heal from the loss of Shadow, Callie, and Kissy. Oh, I still miss them – and always will – but the pain isn’t as sharp.

And he did something else to my heart. He opened it to letting him join Callie and Shadow when his time came so that we could give another Golden Boy a second chance at a happy life. My heart still hurts from the pain of losing Radar so suddenly. But I know when the time is right he and his sisters will send us another Golden Boy to whom we will open our hearts and home. Another Golden Boy who needs us as much as we need him.

We’re joining Brian’s Home Blog for the Thankful Thursday blog hop.

Powered by Linky Tools

Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…

Christmas Cactus for Radar

I can’t believe it’s nearly a week since Radar joined Callie and Shadow in Heaven.

Anyway, last Sunday after church hubby and I made a quick stop at our local grocery store. As we walked towards the bakery, we stopped at a tabletop display of Christmas Cactus plants. There were red ones and these white and pink ones. Hubby and I both needed cheering up, so we bought this one in memory of our boy.

More of the flowers have bloomed since Sunday. I like to think it’s because Radar likes our choice and is giving us a sign that he’s okay. I can just imagine him wagging his tail as Callie and Shadow greeted him at the Rainbow Bridge. That tail of his was almost always wagging! He was such a happy boy!

We are going to do our best to make this Christmas a merry one. Callie, Shadow, and Radar would want it that way. The last few years we’ve had a rather quiet Christmas without Callie. And until Radar came along in October, I didn’t feel much like celebrating without our sweet Shadow as well. But Radar brought so much joy back into all our lives that we have to find a way to keep that feeling alive. Radar and his sisters would want us to be at least cheerful.

Radar is back home now. I’m not one for setting up shrines, but his ashes are in this beautiful wooden box. And we also have this clay paw print.

Our boy – Ducky’s most special friend – is back home and I know his sweet, happy spirit is nearby. And I know Radar will help Callie and Shadow find us a new friend/brother for Ducky. The three of them know what we need and I trust their judgement. When all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season is over, we’ll have our 3 Golden Angels actively start the search for our next Golden Earth Angel.

So, as Radar’s Christmas Cactus blooms, we will take it as a sign that he is, indeed, here with us. And we will celebrate the joy of his life with us along with the true meaning of Christmas.

Gone Too Soon

Hubby, Ducky and I are devastated. Our sweet foster boy has gone ahead. He joined our family on October 4th and on December 7th he joined Callie and Shadow in Heaven. Sweet, loving Radar. Ducky’s best doggie friend and brother. She loved Callie and Shadow dearly; but Radar was her most special friend. He tolerated her antics and she willingly shared her toys and our attention with him.

He was our boy. He was our first-ever male dog, our friend. He was an equal-opportunity lover boy. He loved hubby and me equally.

He learned quickly that “Daddy” is the soft touch and buddy; and “Mommy” is the cook, nurse, teacher, nurturer, and friend.

Radar fit into our little family perfectly. He was gentle with Ducky, played with her, shared his toys with her, gave her space when she was feeling “snarky”, and let her get attention from us when she felt neglected.

He loved us humans equally. He loved to stand, sit or lay down between our chairs so we could both pet him at the same time. Loving on him was therapeutic for both of us. And he knew he had his “fur-ever” home and family. He trusted us and we trusted him. I had plans to work with him to earn his CGC (Canine Good Citizen) title after he finished his heartworm treatments. And possibly therapy certifications. He had the perfect personality/temperament for both.

Our boy is gone. Our special boy, Ducky’s most special friend. Ducky is as heartbroken as we are. The price of love.

Radar will always be in our hearts. Our love for him and his for us will help us help each other to heal. Ducky, hubby, and I will heal. Radar’s spirit – like Kissy’s, Callie’s and Shadow’s spirits – will always be nearby. He and the girls will watch over us. They will send us another friend to love and welcome into the family when the time is right.

An Awesome Day

Happens when you leave your comfort zone way behind you and aren’t disappointed.

Today has been one of those days. I wish I had photos to share but I don’t. Please just enjoy the one at the end of the post.

I had to take Ducky to the vet for a weight check. I figured she would at least bark at Rachel or Morgan, but no. Once we got inside, she was quiet as a church mouse. And no resistance to being on the scale.

Then, I needed to go to our local pet supplies store to pick up some more “backup food” (for when I get low on homemade and don’t have time to make more).

Ducky has never been inside that store because I was always afraid she would try to bite another human who got too close to me. So, naturally, I was prepared to have hubby take her back outside if she got too anxious.

Ducky, Hubby, and I walked into the store behind another shopper and it was like we were the only three beings in the store. Not a sound, not an anxious look, not any reaction at all from Ducky. We walked to the back of the store where they keep (some of) the food I needed and back to the front where the rest of it is kept. All Ducky was interested in was all the new smells. 🐾🐾

So, hubby brought our items up to the cashier’s desk while I walked Ducky around the store. Her only reaction was a little growling at another dog on the other side of the glass door to the grooming room. And she stopped as soon as I asked her to and went back to sniffing. She even sniffed the cashier’s hand when the girl rolled out from behind the counter in a wheelchair!! πŸ₯°

My little girl made me – and her Daddy – so proud today! I know her Golden Angel sisters are proud of her, too! πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡

Now Ducky and I are enjoying sunshine and fresh air in the backyard as we chill out. Ducky’s on squirrel patrol, and I’m about to start my walk around the yard. (Beats the boring old treadmill any time!)

A Letter to My Golden Girls

Dear Callie and Shadow,

You girls have been together in Heaven now for three months. I miss you more every day. And I will always love you with my whole heart.

Callie, from the moment you were born you started filling a need in me.

When Kissy passed away, there was a hole in my life that nothing could fill. She was my first “fur-baby” and my soul mate in so many ways. I knew no other dog could replace her – and I wasn’t interested in trying to – but I missed the pitter-patter of doggie paws and the companionship of a soul who loved me unconditionally.

When Debbie told me you had been born, I knew my heart would start to heal. Little did I know that you would end up teaching me far more than I could ever teach you. You were such a sweet puppy; and you had an independent streak. Kissy had been wholly dependent on me, so I had to learn to accept that streak. You helped me accept it, and I quickly learned to love you for it. When Shadow joined our little family, you immediately took on the role of surrogate mama. You helped me raise her; and quite honestly you did a better job than me.

Shadow, you were such a sweet little puppy, too; but you didn’t have that independent streak like Callie. You were more “needy” like Kissy. You were my “Velcro Dog”. But you were a bit mischievous too. I still remember the day you grabbed your Grandpa’s hearing aid out of his lap and swallowed it whole. Dr. Steve was already gone for the day so I had to make a few phone calls before I knew what to do. You poor pup, you were so miserable the rest of that day; but at least you regurgitated the hearing aid the same way you swallowed it – in one piece.

And you were constantly trying to get out of the kitchen at night before you were house trained. Callie spent many a night sleeping on the carpet in the hallway, on the opposite side of the baby gate, so you wouldn’t feel so alone.

You girls were inseparable, almost literally. Especially at Dr. Steve’s office. Callie was always the brave, happy girl and Shadow the not-so-brave, reserved one. But as long as Callie was there with you, Shadow, you were a bit braver. When Callie had to have her knee-repair surgeries, you always seemed so “lost” without her. You clung to me most of the day while she was at the hospital. And when she came home and had to rest, you glued yourself to her side. You took care of her just as she always took care of you.

When Ducky Doodle Demon Dog joined the family, you girls had to put up with so much from her. Callie, you were the most patient one of us all. Bless you for that! All those times you played peacemaker between Shadow and Ducky? You were my hero. And the times you wouldn’t let Ducky exclude Shadow from your games? You never ceased to amaze me with your patience. And, Shadow, you sweet girl. You tried so hard to emulate Callie; but Ducky continually pushed your buttons.

Sabine earned my eternal gratitude when she convinced me to set up an intro date for Ducky at daycare. A Dog’s Day Out turned out to be the best option for all of us. And her first day was your eighth birthday, Shadow. And Callie’s half-birthday. It was probably the best gift I could have given you girls, along with the walk at the park later that morning.

Callie, when you went to Heaven we were all devastated, but poor Shadow most of all. I know you spent those last months of your life trying to prepare us – especially Shadow – for our impending loss. You did your best to teach Shadow how to deal with Ducky. And you did your best to teach Ducky how to be a good little sister. And you taught me how to manage the two of them. I hope I made you proud as you watched from Heaven. Shadow, you and I helped each other and Daddy through our grief. And we helped Ducky. I think Ducky helped us all more than we gave her credit for back then.

Shadow, when you were declining and I was in denial at times, I know you tried to tell me your time was near. And you tried to tell me you’d be okay once you reunited with Callie. Ducky was so good with you those last few weeks. She stuck by your side – just as Callie had always done – and made me so proud. I could almost see Callie smiling down on her. When it was time to say goodbye for now, sweet Ducky gave you kisses just as she had Callie that morning she left us. For weeks, Ducky looked for you almost everywhere. As time goes by, she accepts more and more that you’re not coming home. But, like me, she senses your – and Callie’s – spiritual presence, usually even before I do. Being Ducky, though, she is enjoying getting all the attention. She misses you girls in ways Daddy and I can’t because we’re a different specie; but she has been our rock. She is our little breathing entertainment center. She makes us scream with exasperation at times, but she also makes us laugh. I know you girls made it possible for our hearts to expand to include Ducky, and I thank you both for that blessing.

Always Remembered…

Forever Loved.

I Can’t Believe It’s Been A Month….

Since Hubby, Ducky and I told Shadow how much we love her – will always love her – and then let her go be with her soul-sister Callie. This is my favorite photo of my Golden Girls from several years ago….Jason's Pix 016

We miss our sweet girl so much. Ducky misses having company when we have to leave the house. She misses having a buddy to share the perimeter patrol duties with, and to bark at the neighbors’ dogs with, and to fuss at over time on the dog beds. About the only thing Ducky doesn’t miss about Shadow is the competition for our attention.

Hubby’s not a big believer in spiritual visits. It’s a shame for him. Being open to them myself, I feel better knowing my Golden Angels are always with me. And always watching over Ducky as well. It’s just so hard not having them here physically to love on and watch play with each other and cuddle together and discipline Ducky.

Anyway, it’s at least a little easier to look at photos of my girls without dissolving into a puddle of tears. So, here are some pix of Callie and Shadow together when they were still pups….

My Golden Girls were rarely apart in life; and when they were apart, they spent the time looking for each other. Now they’re together again, the way they were always meant to be.

Callie’s Here

Have you seen the movie, “A Dog’s Purpose”? Just in case you haven’t, I won’t tell you how it ends. I can tell you I used a bunch of tissues. 😒

And I will tell you that at the end of the movie, when the dog starts barking at his owner, Shadow went from laying on her side to sitting up and watching intently. 🐢

When Callie and Shadow were youngsters, Callie would always sit in front of the TV – watching intently – if there were dogs or other animals on any program we were watching. And sometimes if the dogs on the TV were acting out, Callie would bark at them as if she were trying to tell them to relax. Meanwhile, Shadow would just chill out, wondering what all the fuss was about. As I went to pick up the phone to take a picture, Shadow turned away from the TV. Just as she always did when she was young. For a minute or two it had been as though Callie was sitting there. Hubby and I looked at each other and then at Shadow. She had the same “What?!” look on her face. But I still feel Callie’s presence in the house.